Down with the System
by punurple
Summary: Albus and Minerva are on their wedding night... and in a PG fic. How much can they do without getting booted?


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Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. aren't mine. My only purpose is for the entertainment of others.

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A/N: Ever had one of those nights where you wake up and just can't fall back asleep? This is the product of such a night.

Also, please note that one of my betas has skipped town and I've no clue what the other one is up to. So, this hasn't been beta'd. I've read over it again and again, but being my work I can't guarantee that I've caught all the mistakes.

Down with the System

The lobby was bustling with people. Witches and wizards of different nationalities moved about as they tried to get through the crowd and reached their destination. As Minerva walked to the main desk, she overheard snippets of their conversations.

"You are joking!"

"No, sir! Did it without warning!"

"The nerve of those people!"

Minerva nodded in greeting as she passed the two gentlemen. Being curious in nature (Albus often said it would be the death of her, though she didn't understand why), she couldn't help but listen in on the next couple she passed.

"What was that?"

"Fluffy puff dodos!"

She frowned. No, that couldn't have been what he said. It just didn't make sense. _Perhaps I should brush up on my Russian…_

"Can ye no' believe it, laddie?!"

__

Ah! Now there's something I can understand!

"Minerva!" Albus waved to her from the back of the room. She smiled and fought her way through the crowd to his side.

"Sir, I don't understand…"

Exasperated, Albus pinched the bridge of his nose. "All I asked was if the room had a mini bar."

The man behind the desk rolled the word "bar" around on his tongue as if it were foreign to him. Minerva covered her mouth in order to hide her smirk at Albus' more that peeved look. Apparently he had not heard.

She lay her hand on Albus' left forearm and smiled as he turned to face her. He returned her smile, but became puzzled as she spoke to the man before them.

"What my husband is trying to ask is do the rooms already have drinks in them for us to enjoy?"

The young man brightened as it was apparent this woman spoke his language. "Yes, all rooms have a wide variety for you to choose from."

"Thank you." She took the key and bid him a good day. Minerva led Albus to the stairs and they slowly made their way to the third floor, where their room awaited them. They had to fight their way through the crowd at times.

"Minerva, what just happened?" Albus was more than a little confused.

"I'll explain once we get to our room, Albus."

"Why are there so many people her, my dear?" Albus nodded to the fifth person who greeted him by name. He didn't know a single one of them.

"I'm not exactly sure. There must be a large meeting being held here."

They finally reached their room at the end of the hall. Albus held out his hand for the key and Minerva handed it to him. After unlocking the door he waved her on in.

Minerva smiled as she stepped into the room they would be spending the next week in. It was furnished in dark wood and earth tones. The mini-bar stood opposite the bed, which seemed very inviting. Their luggage sat by the door.

Albus closed the door and nodded with approval. The room would do nicely. He smiled as his gaze fell upon Minerva. She walked about the room as if looking for a flaw, and then turned to him and smiled.

"What do you think, Mrs. Dumbledore?" He moved towards her.

"It will suffice." She giggled as he swept her into his arms. He pulled her closer and gently claimed her lips with his own.

Smiling slightly, Minerva opened her mouth to him, inviting him to explore. After several long moments, Albus' hands, which had been resting on her waist, moved upwards to cup her

Albus frowned and ended the kiss. Startled, Minerva opened her eyes and looked at her husband with curiosity.

"What is it, dear?"

Shaking it off, Albus smiled and once again reached out to cup Minerva's left

Minerva smirked at the puzzled look on her husband's face. "Albus," she purred, "you aren't following the rules…"

"Rules?" He was utterly confused and his right hand still hung in the air. Minerva sighed and grasped his hand, pulling him over to the bed so they could sit down.

"Dear, she began, this _is_ a PG story." Minerva hoped this would be enough of an explanation, but he still seemed confused. She sighed and elaborated.

"You and I have been written into a PG story. So, even though this is our wedding night, nothing can happen."

"What?!" Albus seemed even more disturbed, but settled down at the threatening look on his wife's face. He cleared his throat. "Why would anyone do such an evil thing? You would think that after all these years…"

"Well," she moved to the mini bar, "I guess they think that we can wait a tad longer, or until the next NC-17 story comes along."

Albus groaned and walked over to the window on the wall the bed was by. Looking out, he could see the wonderful landscape that was Paris. "So what _can_ we do?" He turned to her expectantly."

Minerva's lips tightened into a thin line as she thought. "Well, we can kiss, obviously. I do believe that is it though. We could always play a nice game of chess, but the pieces won't be able to destroy each other as they normally do. I for one do not want to play with an annoyed set." She poured herself a non-alcoholic drink. "Orange juice, Albus?"

"No, thank you… So you mean we can't--"

"Nope."

"Not even--"

"Afraid not."

A short pause filled the air.

"No dueling?"

A raised eyebrow accompanied her response. "Why ever would you… No, too violent."

"Not even a toned down version?"

Minerva sat on the bed and thought. "Perhaps, but all you would get out of it would be the names of the spells cast and your foe dodging each and every one as he, or she, escapes gracefully."

Albus sighed and sat down beside Minerva. Neither one of them spoke. Minerva sipped her juice and Albus toyed with a knot in his beard.

Albus took a deep breath as if to say something meaningful, but quickly changed his mind. "Do you know where Fawkes has gone off to?"

Minerva delicately sipped her orange juice and avoided looking at him. "He's not allowed in this story."

Albus jumped up. "Why not? He's practically harmless!"

She shook her head. "He's too close to his burning day."

Albus looked rather downhearted. "So… I'm sure this all has something to do with the man downstairs who didn't understand what a mini bar is."

"Probably not accustomed to it, being a PG character."

"Oh."

…

"You know you have toffee in your beard--"

"To hell with the system!"

"Albus!"

"I don't care, Minerva!"

"You should! They'll kick us if they hear you!"

"Let them!" With that he jumped Minerva and proceeded to snog her senseless. A fly on the wall would say that he deliberately did it at that moment as Minerva's cup was in the perfect spot to sail across the room and fly out the window, landing on the head of a rather disgruntled and toad-like woman.

"Albus!" Minerva scrambled to rid herself of him, as he was starting to remove her robes.

"Albus, if you don't stop we'll

Disappear.


End file.
